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Ten Years and Three Days Ago…

13 Sep

I was just sitting down in drama class. I was 15 and in 10th grade. I had recently decided that NYC was would at some point in the future be my home.

My drama teacher came in the room and turned on the TV explaining that a plane had just flown into one of the twin towers. Nobody knew what was happening. We watched.

Finally, my teacher said we should go do some theatre games like we had planned and would come back to the news later.

So we did. We missed the second plane hitting. Looking back, that was probably for the best. I’m not sure our 10th grade Southern hearts could handle seeing that live.

I don’t remember if we watched the news when we got back to class. I don’t remember if we saw the towers fall or heard about the the pentagon right away. Either way, we found out soon enough. We probably saw some of it unfolding live. But now. Now I have seen it so many times , every year, on my tv, for the past 10 years. I think what I saw live and what I’ve seen in replay so many times since has blended together.

I will never forget those first few moments. Like most, I will always know exactly where I was, what time it was (9:30am ish), and what day it was (Tuesday). I think it’s natural for some of it to blur together after those initial moments. Doesn’t that seem to be the way with really tragic and really happy events? There’s that first moment that the happiness or the tragedy hits you that you cannot forget and then everything just blurs, and blends, and and swirls around you.

The other moment that stands out to me from that day is this: My friend said, “well, do you still really want to move to NYC?” In the moment I think I said something like “We’ll see,” so she wouldn’t think I was crazy. Who could want to move to NYC in that moment?

I wanted to. Literally at that moment? No. But my desire was not taken away. NYC would still someday be my home.

Even before we knew what was happening or why it was happening, in those first moments of tragedy, there was already this feeling, this great pull to all be one. To throw everything you had, all your support behind the places and people affected. How could I abandon my NYC dreams now? New York has always been strong. I knew that long before I visited or dreamt of living here. But for that moment New York City needed all the support the rest of the country could give. So how could I turn away and go somewhere else?

As the days went on and the people of the USA proved that the word united is there for a reason, the love that I saw those rumored rough, and closed off, and sometimes rude New Yorkers have and share and give to each other was inspiring.

Of course 9/11 wasn’t just an attack on NYC, it was an attack on the USA and unfortunately, NYC, and DC, and PA suffered the deepest wounds. I don’t think that my refusal to give up on this city was anything special, but if you add it up with everyone else who felt the same way, who stuck to their decision to move to NYC, who stayed in NYC, who sent a note to a firehouse, or a prayer to Heaven,  I think it made/makes a difference.

This city has my heart.

It will be a while until I feel like I earn the title “New Yorker.” There are a lot of people from my hometown who will never visit New York City. But I think for a few moments we were all New Yorkers.

Astro

1 Sep

As I was driving home from my last night out in Clemson I passed the recently closed Astro movie theatre-a slightly dilapidated but completely lovable landmark for any Clemson student. The marquee read “Thank you and goodbye. Closed.”

I found it very fitting. As I closed one chapter of my life, so did the Astro and written on the marquee were these simple elegant words that were completely fitting in that moment. I owe thanks to so many people, places, and events in Clemson.

Goodbye is what I said that night to my friends in Clemson. I said it the night before to my friends from work and high school and I said it two days later to my family and pets. Goodbye is a strong word because I will be seeing my friends again, many of them sooner rather than later, but I did say goodbye to that part of my life. I realized that I will not always live within a one hour radius of all of my friends and even if I moved back (I’m not) someone else would move away.

Closed perfectly defined those last few days in Clemson and Walhalla. I am not closed off to anyone but a certain period in my life ended and since then a new one has begun. I live in New York City and now have 3 days to put towards my New Yorker card. 

What I’ve learned:
Little girls really do have lemonade stands on the sidewalk

You can have a yard sale in the city

Old men do gather in the park to play chess and if a game gets really good, they will abandon their own activity to watch. 

A September Evening in a park in New York falls somewhere between delight and perfection

What an update!

30 Jun

Long time no post. Anyway, time for a few updates.

The day after the Swell Season Concert I went to Minneapolis, Minnesota with my mom to shop at the Mall of America. This was part of my graduation gift from my family and it was awesome. My mom and I had a really great time! We walked the entire mall, spent a lot of money, explored downtown Minneapolis, rode the rides in the indoor amusement park at the mall, and had good quality mother, daughter time. I never realized before how much like my mom I am…..crazy.

After we got back I went to the Reserve to fill out paper work because I was supposed to waitress there but they kept messing up my schedule and the communication was horrible so our of frustration I went job searching again and got a job at the second place I went to…..a preschool literally two minutes from my house so I have been working there for about a month now and even though its hard sometimes I generally like it.

As many of you know I was in Alice in Wonderland at the children’s theatre and even though I had about 3 weeks of work, rehearse, sleep repeat and every few days spend insane amounts of money on gas, it ended up being a great experience. I got to know some pretty cool people, got out of my comfort zone, and I feel like a much better singer and actor for it. The little kids that came to see the show were soooooo cute. I signed so many autographs and it was just amazing. A lot of my friends came to see it (thanks to those) and it was great to see all of them! One little girl who’s playbill I signed came up to me and said “Hi, Alice” in the cutest most awe struck voice. She was dressed like Alice and was wearing a pin that had a picture of Alice from the movie on it and she showed it to me and said, “look, it’s you!” So freaking cute! There were also a few girls who said I was their favorite Alice and/or their favorite part of the show which just made my day. 

This past week I taught drama camp at CLT to 3-5 graders. My group of kids were pretty good. They listened well and were a lot of fun. I really loved working with them and I think they all had fun. The parents gushed and I loved the whole experience so while I loved it I’m kinda relieved now because the only thing I have on my plate right now is work and I haven’t had that in a loooooooong time! 

Ok, deep breath! This is a long post but a lot has happened since my last post. I apologize for the lack of good writing this post probably contains but now you’re up to date. I will try to update more frequently from now on.

Love and hugs:)

So close

27 Apr

ME

Production Studies Exam
Chaucer Exam

GRADUATION!!! 

Wild weekend

22 Apr

Just a little update for you all since I have posted in a while.

Friday: class, work, meet with professor, Greenville with Laura for a silent dinner (I love ASL!!!), Didn’t get Teach for America, felt oddly at peace about that and moved on, sang at Cabaret (a random college goal of mine) with the lovely Anna:)

Saturday: Slept in, left for home, wrecked my car, burst into tears, randomly discovered that my friend John Mark was behind me and so he and his mom stopped (thankfully) and stayed until my mom and step-dad showed up, got all of that straightened out, went out to lunch, got  a new cell phone, saw my pets, brought Cocoa to Clemson for a visit, watched a movie with Tori and went to bed:)

Sunday: Ate breakfast at MoeJoe’s, DCF for church (They had their annual gallery which is always amazing), did homework all day, went to the Botanical Gardens with Laura and Cocoa, did more work, watched my favorite tv show, slept:)

P.S. I’m now driving a large white Chevy truck….it’s kinda sexy. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself to make up for the fact that it loves to drink up the gas.

School’s almost over!!!!

ME
ASL Exam
Research proposal
Stage Combat Scene
Production Studies Test
Chaucer Exam
Shakespeare take-home exam
GRADUATION 

classy glassy

8 Apr

My vintage glasses from ebay came in today so I decided to do a little photo shoot with them as well as with my new reading glasses. Enjoy!

Oh my…

20 Mar

My best friend gets married tomorrow….geeze pete!

Amazing Monday!

17 Mar

So, first of all, Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!:) I hope you all had a lovely green day!

Next, I just really need to write about last Monday….AMAZING! It was seriously one of the best days of my life…I’m not kidding. Laurie and I were codirecting The Vagina Monologues which in itself was a lot fun and owrk but on top of that, Eve Ensler (author of the Vagina Monologes and Women’s activist) came to speak at Clemson on her college tour. So, Laurie and I went and picked her up from her hotel…..crazy! We had no idea what to expect…she’s done a lot of good in the world so we really couldn’t complain if she was a diva but we wanted her to be nice.

She was SO NICE! She was sincerely interested in the histroy of the show at Clemson and we had a 30-minute conversation with her….completely surreal. On top of that she was filming a documentary on this college campaign and we got to speak about our experiences and journeys with the show on camera. I just can’t even communicate to you in words what a big deal this was to me and how big of an impact i thad on me. I felt so inspired…I wanted to write, direct, act, teach, and save the world all in that moment and she was so encouarging.

Then, as if that wasn’t enough the show went SO WELL. The girls o stage had TONS of energy and were amazing. The tech crew was wonderful and did a great job too. Afterwards everyone had so many nice things to say…it was so refreshing. The girls got Laurie and I each a card signed by all of them, a plant (lillies), and wine….it was wonderful.

This blog doesn’t even begin to describe how amazing this whole experience was but I had to write about it. omg….I just want to live those hours over and over again. World, here I come!

kca….kfc….kc…ta….fct…kcac…

21 Feb

….KCACTF. Anyway, that stands for the Kennedy Center AMerican College Theatre Festival which Clemson hosted a few weeks ago. Anyway, it was incredibly tiring and tons of work leading up to it but a really great experience. I made some great connections, went to wonderful workshops, got cast in a 10 minute play, and acquired some new facebook friends. It also made me really want to go to grad school. I mean I’ve wanted to go a few years after undergrad and still do but seeing all the shows from the different schools (good and bad) reaffirmed for me that grad school is indeed something I want to do.

So, other than that I’ve been busy with school. I’m co-directing the Vagina MOnologues and it is so much fun. Definitely keeping me on my toes but so worth it. I’ve had some drama in the drama department lately but I have learned a lot from my experiences. The most recent thing that happened is that I didn’t get cast in Earnest which I could really go on about but I will sum it up with the following.

I was super sad about not being cast because it was my last chance to be cast in a show at Clemson. Since not getting cast though (although I must admit my audition was fun and I did get a call back) but I have realized that the good thing is that I never have to feel sad about not being cast in a show at clemson again. It is actually very liberating in its own way so while I’m still dissapointed and could go on forever I won’t. I have my freedom!

 So, I definitely feel like there’s more I want to type but I’m not in the blog mood as much as I thought but I wanted to give an upate. I drew some fun doodles in my Chaucer class today so I’ll post those this weekend:)

love and hugs.

I’m not sorry

31 Jan

Look at these updates….they just keep coming and coming like the energizer blog:)

Anyway, I remembered my other “New Year’s” Resolution – to not apologize for myself unnecessarily. I first became aware of how much I say sorry when i don’t need to Fall of 2006 when I was working load-in for a show at the Brooks Center and the wardrobe lady told me I didn’t need to apologize for myself like I was because I hadn’t done anything wrong. I realized then and there that she was right and so I made a conscious effort to stop saying sorry so much. I got better but around December realized I had fallen back into the habit somewhat. Anyway, I have been trying to not say unless I really mean or I just don’t have another word and I still probably use it more than necessary but it’s better.

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